Creativity With an Affinity for Darkness
The Dark Opera
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Scroll down for my latest work as well as for whatever's on my mind.

It's not all just dark stuff, so check back for a laugh, some motivation or for pure randomness.
 

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Confessions of a Chocoholic

11/18/2013

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It’s true; I’m something of a chocolate fiend. The wonderful taste of chocolate is alluring to say the least, what with its vast palette of flavors from Crème brûlée to orange. The sweet, edible gold’s versatility and appeal don’t end there though does it? No; it’s infused into crunchy wafers, hot drinks, ice creams, liquors, you name it. IT’S EVERYWHERE. You could get lost in its mouth-watering creaminess…

Uh. What was I saying?

Oh yea. Being a chocoholic, I’ve found myself in some sad situation – sweet, chocolaty sad situations. Now it’s time to shed some guilt in this confessional, like extra pounds shed in [gulp] post Christmas treat time workouts. I can’t be the only one that has done these things – and rationalized how doing it is okay. Chocoholic ain’t the prettiest word is it? I prefer “connoisseur” of cocoa, maybe gourmand of ganash? 



Confessions

1. I’m glad that kisses are individually wrapped. It slows me down. I ate the little Hershey ribbon once.

2. I’ve eaten sweets in hiding. Away from the kids, my wife, and away from any mirrors.

3. Have eaten less of supper to make room for dessert

4. “There’s always room for dessert” is a steadfast rule, no matter how full I am.

5. I have to give away birthday cake because I can’t trust myself around the leftovers.

6. I’ve folded my stomach over by belly button to make a mouth and moved it to say “feed me” … and then ate chocolate.

7. I have to go to buy more Halloween candy for trick-or-treaters because I bought the bag too early and devoured it all.

8. I’ll eat the left over candy after Halloween and leave the less desirables at the bottom of the bowl (usually coffee crisp). But if I’m hungry enough, I’ll return for those too.

9. I’ll complain about bad chocolate but eat it anyways

10. Candy just isn’t safe at my house. Even if it’s someone else’s. You have a grace period of a week, but after that it’s fair game.

11. When Tim Horton’s has their smiley cookies, I go there three times as much.

12. I’ve eaten candy I bought for someone, felt guilty, and have gone to the store to buy replacements afterwards.

13. I’m confident in my ability to name most of the chocolate out of the “Pot of Gold” box without a glance at the menu.

14. When premium chocolate has shiny packaging sleeves, I get excited because it reminds me of “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”

15. … Sometimes I make the sound effect and/or sing, “I’ve got a golden ticket” after I open it.


- Josh
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Guy On A Buffalo: It's in my head. Now it's in yours

6/25/2012

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Ahhh public domain. What you get when a 1978 flick called "Buffalo Rider" becomes public domain and is picked up and narrated/sung by The Possum Party, you get an incredibly catchy tune! ...Incredibly catchy!! ...warning: it will get in your head. Check it out:  
What kinds of things could you do with public domain?

There are three other episodes of Guy on a Buffalo that you can listen to by clicking through to Youtube. Or, you can head on down to their website:

http://www.thepossumposse.com/

and pick up a guy on the buffalo shirt! 

"Guy on a bufffaaaallloooooo... break your gun on a stump." Ha!
It's in my head. Now it's in yours.

- Josh 
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Emerging Game Saturation Syndrome. Slew of Awesome Game Releases to Blame?

12/8/2011

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With Skyrim’s drop in November, many red eyed, sleep deprived gamers have been showing up to work – or not – and have seen their game play impact on their wakefulness in different aspects of their life.

An engrossing gaming experience such as the above mentioned epic isn’t the only problem however. What’s far more alarming is the number of those immersive games that dropped recently. In effect, a gamer’s “to finish” pile is stacking up and the results aren’t pretty.

It’s an epidemic. The condition: Game Saturation Syndrome or G.S.S. It is too many games to play in too little time.

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5 Reasons Why You Should Own A Mannequin

11/29/2011

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Some ask, “Why own a mannequin?” I say, “why not?”  …Because it’s creepy and not very practical?  …please. Here’s a 5 point list that is in no way exhaustive and are darn solid reasons why you should spring for your own mannequin immediately.


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#1
       Use your mannequin as house security. Its lifelike appearance will startle most intruders. The feature is pretty much built in. But it’s not a new idea. McCauley Culkin used a variation of this use in misleading the “Wet bandits” into thinking the McCallisters were home.


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#2
      In fact, a well placed mannequin can do more than scare off intruders. You can also use him to prank family and friends alike. Think of the look on dear old grandma’s face when she finds what you left her in the pantry.


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#3
   Dress up your mute friend and he can be transformed into the life of the party! Throwing a paradise themed get-together? Throw on a tropical T-shirt on your mannequin and suddenly you’ve injected fun and whimsy into your event.


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#4
     There’s no need to keep your pal private. Mix it up and use him as a stand in for webcam chat or bring him to a job interview.


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#5
     Lastly, enjoy his presence. His warm companionship, while silent, can enrich your life if you let it. Take comfort in knowing that your anchor is right where you left him. Seriously, he can’t move unless you move him.

 
You might choose to use his unwavering attentiveness to test your public speaking skills, pick up lines or one liners. He even has use as a proof reader for online articles!

- Josh


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