It’s true; I’m something of a chocolate fiend. The wonderful taste of chocolate is alluring to say the least, what with its vast palette of flavors from Crème brûlée to orange. The sweet, edible gold’s versatility and appeal don’t end there though does it? No; it’s infused into crunchy wafers, hot drinks, ice creams, liquors, you name it. IT’S EVERYWHERE. You could get lost in its mouth-watering creaminess…
Uh. What was I saying?
Oh yea. Being a chocoholic, I’ve found myself in some sad situation – sweet, chocolaty sad situations. Now it’s time to shed some guilt in this confessional, like extra pounds shed in [gulp] post Christmas treat time workouts. I can’t be the only one that has done these things – and rationalized how doing it is okay. Chocoholic ain’t the prettiest word is it? I prefer “connoisseur” of cocoa, maybe gourmand of ganash?
Uh. What was I saying?
Oh yea. Being a chocoholic, I’ve found myself in some sad situation – sweet, chocolaty sad situations. Now it’s time to shed some guilt in this confessional, like extra pounds shed in [gulp] post Christmas treat time workouts. I can’t be the only one that has done these things – and rationalized how doing it is okay. Chocoholic ain’t the prettiest word is it? I prefer “connoisseur” of cocoa, maybe gourmand of ganash?
Confessions
1. I’m glad that kisses are individually wrapped. It slows me down. I ate the little Hershey ribbon once.
2. I’ve eaten sweets in hiding. Away from the kids, my wife, and away from any mirrors.
3. Have eaten less of supper to make room for dessert
4. “There’s always room for dessert” is a steadfast rule, no matter how full I am.
5. I have to give away birthday cake because I can’t trust myself around the leftovers.
6. I’ve folded my stomach over by belly button to make a mouth and moved it to say “feed me” … and then ate chocolate.
7. I have to go to buy more Halloween candy for trick-or-treaters because I bought the bag too early and devoured it all.
8. I’ll eat the left over candy after Halloween and leave the less desirables at the bottom of the bowl (usually coffee crisp). But if I’m hungry enough, I’ll return for those too.
9. I’ll complain about bad chocolate but eat it anyways
10. Candy just isn’t safe at my house. Even if it’s someone else’s. You have a grace period of a week, but after that it’s fair game.
11. When Tim Horton’s has their smiley cookies, I go there three times as much.
12. I’ve eaten candy I bought for someone, felt guilty, and have gone to the store to buy replacements afterwards.
13. I’m confident in my ability to name most of the chocolate out of the “Pot of Gold” box without a glance at the menu.
14. When premium chocolate has shiny packaging sleeves, I get excited because it reminds me of “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”
15. … Sometimes I make the sound effect and/or sing, “I’ve got a golden ticket” after I open it.
1. I’m glad that kisses are individually wrapped. It slows me down. I ate the little Hershey ribbon once.
2. I’ve eaten sweets in hiding. Away from the kids, my wife, and away from any mirrors.
3. Have eaten less of supper to make room for dessert
4. “There’s always room for dessert” is a steadfast rule, no matter how full I am.
5. I have to give away birthday cake because I can’t trust myself around the leftovers.
6. I’ve folded my stomach over by belly button to make a mouth and moved it to say “feed me” … and then ate chocolate.
7. I have to go to buy more Halloween candy for trick-or-treaters because I bought the bag too early and devoured it all.
8. I’ll eat the left over candy after Halloween and leave the less desirables at the bottom of the bowl (usually coffee crisp). But if I’m hungry enough, I’ll return for those too.
9. I’ll complain about bad chocolate but eat it anyways
10. Candy just isn’t safe at my house. Even if it’s someone else’s. You have a grace period of a week, but after that it’s fair game.
11. When Tim Horton’s has their smiley cookies, I go there three times as much.
12. I’ve eaten candy I bought for someone, felt guilty, and have gone to the store to buy replacements afterwards.
13. I’m confident in my ability to name most of the chocolate out of the “Pot of Gold” box without a glance at the menu.
14. When premium chocolate has shiny packaging sleeves, I get excited because it reminds me of “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”
15. … Sometimes I make the sound effect and/or sing, “I’ve got a golden ticket” after I open it.
- Josh
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